A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE

The Musical
"Hair" 1992 Germany

It’s not the first time I left the US and moved to another country. Many years ago I took the opportunity to go on tour with the musical “Hair”. I had seen the movie and didn’t like it. It wasn’t something I wanted to do.  However, my ex-husband convinced me that it was an amazing opportunity I should not bypass. I took his advice and went on the tour. It was a life changing experience that I will eventually blog. First, allow me to back track a little.

Growing up in America during the ‘50’s when the civil rights movement began was no picnic. The memories of discrimination by teachers in my first Bronx elementary school are ugly. I was happy when we moved to a new neighborhood and I changed schools.

Elementary School

We moved to an Italian neighborhood where the occasional fights with children did not seem to be racially motivated. It was just a bunch of kids claiming their territory. If you won the fight you were in and all the kids would play with you. P.S. 13 in the Bronx was much better than the first school I’d attended. The teachers were genuinely interested in me and the children were encouraged to be friendly and loving to each other.

108th Street in Corona

Eventually we moved to Corona in Queens. It was a “colored” neighborhood where the schools were – as usual – not equally financed and most of the teaching staff mediocre to say the least – white teachers who couldn’t make the grade anywhere else and didn’t want to be there.

The transition from P.S. 13 to P.S. 92 was devastating. Having spent three and a half years in a well funded white public school that provided a first class elementary education, my skills where above average and attitude towards discipline different.  My fifth grade classmates harassed me to no end because I was obedient and could read well. I hated school anyway and this didn’t make things any better.

You'd never guess!

In the ‘60’s the civil rights movement was in full swing and we “Negroes” were demanding desegregation, equal rights, equal education and equal opportunity. Forced desegregation was in effect. After graduating from my third elementary school I was bused to Junior High School 258 where it was made clear to me that I was an inferior human being because of my skin color. 

I was tormented by my white school mates who called me nigger, black sambo and a host of other debasing names. I suffered physical harassment and had to fight often.  I must admit I had some support from the principal and faculty. There are some teachers I still remember fondly, but racism was so intensely inherent I have few good memories of my school years. NYC colleges were forced to desegregate several years later and my student experiences were not much better.

Has it really changed?

So, fast forward to the European tour. I didn’t like the movie “Hair” and didn’t expect to win a role. I auditioned just to stay in practice. When I received the offer my first thought was Germany??? I don’t want to go to another white man’s country and learn another white man’s language. I’m already oppressed and discriminated against here. When I leave the US I’m going to Africa!!!

Dezera, Dennis and Me

As I said in the first paragraph of this blog, my ex-husband convinced me to take advantage of the opportunity to go to Europe. I packed my bags and flew to Wurzburg, Germany. My first day experiences will be the sole subject of its’ own story. Suffice it to say, the musical was nothing like the movie and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life to be directed by Jim Rado (the author) and perform with a team of such incredible artists like Dennis LeGree, Dezera Paige, Glynnis Vargas, Boysie White....

Germany

I made the decision to stay in Germany for a few months after the tour and earn some extra dollars. It was a humbling experience to live in a small town where I had no friends and didn’t speak the language.  In the beginning I was so lonely that I went to the local farmers market every day just to find people to talk to.

It was some time before I started meeting people who spoke English. Oldenburg where I chose to settle is a university town and most of my newly found friends were foreigners who didn’t speak English or German. Eventually, we found ourselves together at the local language school preparing ourselves for our new lives.

It was a struggle to integrate into the community. It was very different from America. The Germans were friendly, helpful and encouraging. There are many stories I could tell about my twenty plus years living in this wonderful little city. Successes, love, marriage, divorce… However, this story is really about the move to Mexico.

Love of My Life!

When I decided to return to the states I moved to NYC where my immediate family and many close relatives still live. To make a long story short, it was so expensive that I eventually moved to Las Vegas where I met my new husband/soul mate and started a life of truly unconditional love.

Fast forward. Rey and I have shared many wonderful experiences. Our bond is like nothing I ever imagined or read about or even heard about from other couples. His love for me is limitless. He words are empowering.  He works hard to be a good role model and I am impressed and encouraged by his intelligence, fortitude and bravery. He is magic and he is teaching me to become a powerful weaver of spells.

Classic Meets Pop in Germany

Rey is a world traveler and from the beginning of our relationship we shared stories of our international adventures. We realized that we’ve both been happier living in foreign countries than we’ve ever been living in the US so the decision to leave the country was a natural one. I loved living and working in Germany and since I was still returning every year to tour, it was logical that should be the right move.

We liquidated all of our belongings and shipped the most important articles – equipment, costumes, data… to Germany in preparation of our next adventure. I’d already secured temporary housing for the three of us – of course our dog Bruno was moving to Germany too!

Bruno

Honestly speaking, I wasn’t really thrilled about moving back to Germany. There I’m a well paid entertainer. My contacts are substantial and I’m emotionally and spiritually closer to my friends than I am to my family in the states. It was the most logical decision. But it was going to be a struggle. There were now three mouths to feed and moving there would put me farther away from retirement. Still, the cost of living in Vegas, my ever increasing debt and health damaging stress convinced me that I needed to get out of Dodge.

Vegas. LOL!

As I said, Rey is teaching me about weaving spells. I now have an inkling of understanding of how powerful my words and thoughts are. Rey has taught me the universe gives you everything you ask for in one way or another.

Moving day came. We made arrangements for our car to be taken care of in Vegas and headed for the airport with my instruments and our essential belongings packed in our luggage. At the check-in I discovered I was carrying an expired passport. We had already vacated the apartment and our belongings were on their way to Germany a week before. There was nowhere to even search for the correct passport. We couldn’t get on the plane.

McCarran Airport

To make a long story short, we headed to San Diego to get a same day passport, missed the pick-up time and had to overnight. We were 40 minutes from the Tijuana border. We decided to stay in Mexico in a reasonably priced AirBnb and another new adventure began. Our stay which lasted 3 days is another story that I will also blog at another time. Suffice it to say I fell in love with Mexico.

We changed our plans and decided to settle here although by this time we had exhausted all of our money arranging the trip to Germany. Since I was booked for a tour, I went on to Germany alone. Rey went back to Las Vegas to reorganize and then drove to Mexico with our dog.

Me & Love Newkirk

In the meantime, I was settling into my routine when my sister called and told me my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and could die within the week. Already financially stressed, I had to cancel the tour, borrow money from my best friend and return to the states to help take care of my mom. The universe was throwing me curves. There was a lesson coming to me from somewhere.

Me & Mom

The story of my mom’s illness, my last days with her and my family relationships is a long one and not relative to the theme of this story, so I shall leave that for another blog. Suffice it to say I used my newly learned spell weaving powers to get me to paradise back in the arms of my true love.

Ain't love grand!

We’ve had many challenges. Expecting to move to Germany, we disposed of many things that would have made our lives easier in Mexico – electronic equipment, instruments, summer clothing, bed linen, pots and pans… household things we could have easily transported in a car or van. We chose to live in a place where we had no income, no contacts, no friends and no idea of how we were going to manage.

We know that we are blessed. It is a humbling experience to move to a new country with practically no belongings, no money and no job.

We spent our first months killing roaches and ants and sleeping on a funky mattress with broken springs. The house was so dirty I could hardly bare to go inside. The stove is dirty and rusty and we still haven’t been able to replace it. The rainy season was a disaster. Through the season the tiny house was wet and when it finally started to dry we were besieged with mold and mildew

It has been the happiest time of my life. Together with Rey, the love of my life and our dog Bruno I decided to meet all challenges. It has always been my dream to live in paradise. I wanted to have a home on the riverside. Any riverside. I wanted to be close to the ocean. Any ocean.  I always wanted to have a garden where I could experience nature and grow my own food.

I unknowingly weaved spells with my wishes. Rey opened my eyes. He taught me to focus and choose my words carefully so that I could become a better weaver. I’m reinventing myself. I’m becoming the person I always wanted to be.

I’ve learned more about Rey in the last six months than I have during our four year relationship. He is an excellent swimmer and a master spear fisher. It took me two days to clean and filet his first catch, a thirty pound tuna. He is an excellent provider. Our refrigerator is always full.

Everyday!

I know we will live to be a healthy one hundred because Rey is a master spell weaver. We need at least that much time to experience all of our wishes. He’s taught me to dive, climb and find my way around the desert and the jungle in the dark. He’s taught me how to find food and water in the wilderness and he’s taught me how to defend myself against earth’s most dangerous animal – (wo)man.

Pasitos Garden

I’ve learned to do without and appreciate every little thing that I have been blessed with. I’m quickly learning Spanish thanks to my work as a volunteer music teacher at Pasitos de Luz. I’ve met many wonderful and supportive people here in Mexico and I’ve made friends. The universe is abundant and full of lessons. I have opened myself up to receiving and I have received. I am a weaver of spells.

It took months to get the landlady to make repairs and get rid of the ever increasing mold. The roaches and ants are gone and the house is clean. I had to change my whole mindset to recognize that the universe honored the spells I weaved. I got everything I asked for in ways that were unexpected, humbling and empowering.  

Home Sweet Home!

I love our little house with its garden of bulging banana, papaya and sour sop trees. I’ve learned to make fresh juice and marmalade from the fruit of our gondo berry tree. I’m waiting excitedly for the first harvest from the avocado tree sitting on the other side of the fence that stands between the sidewalk and the river.



We live in paradise, me, Rey, Bruno and our newly acquired rescue Meeka Marley. Our environment is exotic and filled with birds, lizards, butterflies and beautiful creatures I can’t even identify.

God is good!

Rey & Bruno

Me & Meeka Marley